A Balanced Life: Neutralizing That Inner Critic
When you have promised yourself that you will have a balanced and happy life, there are constant hurdles that one has to negotiate. This is not new, it is an important part of life's journey. How we think, feel and act, comes directly from our belief systems. If I believe that what I am writing is nonsense, thoughts begin to form such as, I am so bad at this, no one will want to read this, and so on, emotions of frustration, sadness, etc, which would likely lead to me deleting it - all of which serves to reinforce those negative beliefs and provide (what we have come to call) the inner critic, with more ammunition to keep me out of balance, negatively focused and stuck. Over time and through experience, this negative inner critic can become so powerful that negative beliefs about self threaten to become "core beliefs" - i can't write anything worthwhile, i am such a bad father, I am not a good therapist, and so on.
To achieve a balance in my life requires neutralizing that inner critic's incessant attacks on my self. To do this, I need to spend some time on my collection of beliefs about my life. One such important belief in this process is that, this inner critic did not exist when I came into this life, he/ she/they, grew from my experiences as an infant, a toddler, a son, a brother, a student, a friend and so on. Through all these experiences, when I paid attention to that critic's voice, he got stronger and would try to infiltrate others aspects of my self. When I focused my attention of my strengths and achievements, that critic got weaker.
The belief that he/she/they did not always exist, has been very helpful to me, reinforcing the truth that this is my house and I have control of what I choose to focus on. I believe that negative beliefs about the self, weigh heavier that the positive beliefs - so, one needs to have more positive beliefs about self to focus on, which requires neutralization of the critic. The simple solution is to stop listening to that inner critic's voice and work with the positive beliefs to create a more powerful inner mentor, who strengthens one's skills and abilities, working with the self to become the person you aspire to be. To be in this position one accepts that the negative voice of the critic may always be around, but you have control over the choice to listen to it or not. Every time you make the choice of not listening to it, but listening your inner mentor, he/she/they become stronger...you become stronger, more in control and more balanced. You will notice such a positive shift in your relationships with your self and significant others. You will find yourself not responding the same way to the inner critic's negativity and attempts to undermine you, instead, shifting your awareness to your strengths, increasing your self-confidence and your compassion for self and others. This is a major positive shift that will have a strong tendency to spread, throughout your body and mind. Such power in meditation!